joe careless wrote:
my ex failed to engage in voluntary mediation. but have a solicitor.
So, you have pursued access.
Listen to solicitor advice to the letter. They deal with these situations daily and understand the 'core' legalities of it all, despite not always telling you what you want to hear. roll with it, it's all about the long game, you have the rest of your lives to correct things. Although your emotions will cloud your mind right now, chill the best you can.
These situations, relationship fails and child access bring the best and worst out of everyone. I know nothing of your situation but assume you are the one coming off second best...the truth is nobody has the upper hand it's just the legal and family/friend interference, good or bad that can change the odds in either direction from time to time. The important bit is to remain civil and you will sleep better knowing you have tried to be fair and cilvil, if the other side doesn't match up then, you (and others) will know where the faults lay. Seeking out the 'uncooperative' one never solves anything though, it just helps to put things into perspective.
I last spent time with my son when he was two, next year he turns ten. The best and worst as quoted above is that the best of me told me to keep away, the worst was that i kept away.
I didn't qualify for contribution based legal aid as earned too much..?..14k on top...yeah, rolling in it but, if i earned any less to qualify...I wouldn't have been able to pay mortgage, bills etc...and of course child maintenance. What do you do? Going private was no option as i had £25 pw to live on as it was. yeah, food, travel costs, the lot. Not sure how i did it, but did.
I had to bury any bitterness deep down and back-off. In good time you will find your own solutions even though they may not be perfect solutions, things will remedy themselves in good time
2. roll with legal advice-it's the main allied force at the moment.
3. chill, any bad feelings spilling over can bite you later on.
Ride yorkshire on an old bike.