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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 3:54 pm 
retrobike rider
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gtRTSdh wrote:
or do they pick on those mentally strong enough (who are often physically weaker) to stand out from the crowd who makes the bully's question their own choices?

Bullies are no respecter of a person. Be it mentally or physically stronger.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 3:57 pm 
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Trouble is, in the days of electronic anonymity, a bully can be the very person that would be picked on in the real world (and probably are)


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:03 pm 
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Isaac_AG wrote:
twain wrote:
(3 1/2 mile trip home on foot at the age of 10).


Sorry :D Had to mention it, but I used to walk that after school from he train station every day all year, mostly down a lonely lane, horrible in winter when it was dark, scared me to death when I was 10, even when I was 15/16 too.

We even had a flasher once and although my mum did mention it to the police I still had to walk home, I would not do that to my winkles.

Alison


;)....it was 3 1/2 country miles though - along a stretch of road with no pavements :P i guess its no mean feat, but the fact i managed to walk out of school with no one noticing was particularly embarrassing for the head teacher though. and the expression on my mums face as i turned up the drive....

i have a very vivid memory of that day - i also have some vivid memories of particular incidents with my bullies. mainly their faces. i dont forget faces, especially ones i'd still like to put my foot inside.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:04 pm 
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
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gtRTSdh wrote:
videojetman wrote:
so sad when a person takes their own life.
bullies pick on the weak. bullies are spineless.


or do they pick on those mentally strong enough (who are often physically weaker) to stand out from the crowd who makes the bully's question their own choices?


I don't think they pick on those mentally strong enough, I became the wreck of a person I am because of bulling both at school (including teachers) and at home, I have never been able to take it or just pass it off, from the moment I went to school everyday tore me to shreds and the memory of it still does.

Alison


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:06 pm 
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Chute55uk wrote:
Trouble is, in the days of electronic anonymity, a bully can be the very person that would be picked on in the real world (and probably are)


How so?

Are you saying cyber bullies don't respect the physicality of real-world, physical bullies or something?


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:11 pm 
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
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twain wrote:
Isaac_AG wrote:
twain wrote:
(3 1/2 mile trip home on foot at the age of 10).


Sorry :D Had to mention it, but I used to walk that after school from he train station every day all year, mostly down a lonely lane, horrible in winter when it was dark, scared me to death when I was 10, even when I was 15/16 too.

We even had a flasher once and although my mum did mention it to the police I still had to walk home, I would not do that to my winkles.

Alison


;)....it was 3 1/2 country miles though - along a stretch of road with no pavements :P i guess its no mean feat, but the fact i managed to walk out of school with no one noticing was particularly embarrassing for the head teacher though. and the expression on my mums face as i turned up the drive....

i have a very vivid memory of that day - i also have some vivid memories of particular incidents with my bullies. mainly their faces. i dont forget faces, especially ones i'd still like to put my foot inside.


I think the person I'd deal with if I could would be my middle school PE teacher, being bullied by school kids and even my siblings was bad enough but verbal bulling from the people you expect to protect you, that was terrible, I knew that I could not even trust adults either.

I walked home once aged 3, it wasn't miles but was across a couple of non to quiet roads in Nottingham, I didn't want o go on a walk :shock: I have of course no recollection of this but my mum nearly had a heart attack and the school were, as was yours, very embarrassed :oops: no wonder my mum moved us to the middle of nowhere.

Alison


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:14 pm 
retrobike rider
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No, I mean its very easy to be the bully, sat behind the anonimity of the internet, so therefore I (assume) people who cant bully in the real world due to strength, appearance and so forth would find it a release from the stresses they have to deal with in reality.
Its often documented that abusers were themselves abused so Im making the connection to bully's as well and the ease of which it can be manifested without having to "put your money where your mouth is" so to speak


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:14 pm 
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Chopper1192 wrote:
My Grandad was a bare knuckle boxer in his day. When I was getting bullied at school in the early 70s he came up the school at closing time, made me point out by nemesis and his Dad, and my Grandpappy walked across and snotted his Dad on the nose. He then informed Dad that he was going to enjoy a repeat performance every day for as long as the bullying continued.

Suffice to say i was never touched again.


As a police officer, then, are you implying this is a good resolution?

Didn't really teach you anything, other than there's always somebody bigger up the food chain - and the same for the bullies.

In today's world, whilst abhorrent to many, Gene-Hunt-ism just wouldn't fly - these days, it's most likely somebody reacting like your grandad would face a complaint of assault. And besides, bullying isn't always physical (involving physical violence, anyway).

I, like many, went through a period of being bullied as a child - I suppose it had a bearing on how I evolved - which was to embrace physical pursuits, like exercise, weightlifting, martial arts, and boxing. All the same, I can related to how many feel - and the helplessness, that despite victims asking for help, beyond lip service and token gestures, it rarely truly addresses it. Not everybody can turn the tide, embrace physical culture, or somehow override it - we're not all the same that way.

I like to think / try and equip my kids against bullying - not really sure whether it works, though, you can't insist or force them to embrace or pursue certain things, and as much of it is a mental battle. All the same, I wouldn't tolerate them bullying anybody.

What's the answer? Well like many similar things, it's about resources, effort, and will. Same as things like violence and law breaking in prisons. Anything can be stopped with sufficient intent and commitment from TPB, most of the time, though, the time / effort / resource / money are things that they won't really sanction, but just talk about ideas and commitment that rarely changes much.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:17 pm 
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Chute55uk wrote:
No, I mean its very easy to be the bully, sat behind the anonimity of the internet, so therefore I (assume) people who cant bully in the real world due to strength, appearance and so forth would find it a release from the stresses they have to deal with in reality.
Its often documented that abusers were themselves abused so Im making the connection to bully's as well and the ease of which it can be manifested without having to "put your money where your mouth is" so to speak


Truth be told, though, I've always found bullying to be a mindset - not merely just ideal circumstances.

Perhaps in previous times there was likely a ring-leader, who had a fair degree of physicality to back it up, but not everybody who joined in under them did so.

Perhaps in the cyber world, there's more opportuinity for some, that maybe wouldn't carry it off easily in the real, physical world - but bullying probably doesn't start or end with social networking.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:20 pm 
retrobike rider
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yes that's what I meant.
of course the original reason I started this thread is the father is calling for ask.com to be taken down, claiming it is the reason this happened but immediately jumps on the biggest cause of misery this modern world can produce and cites social media as the reason.
if it wasn't so tragic the irony would be laughable


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