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PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 8:03 am 
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i have no idea why you wouldn't even if its just a token amount.

Series 1 of this show was exccellent:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgR3ZRr4zb0


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 10:12 am 
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I got charged rent as soon as I started work (at 16). £20 a week when I was earning £45.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 10:58 pm 
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Work out an approximate cost of all monies spent bringing up said child to this stage. Include all the sundries like nappies, clothes, bedding,food but include all the little odd things like calpol,milton fluid.prams, pushchairs Make a very very long list then print it off with a total at the bottom.
Present it to child and ask them- 'Now, how much would you like to pay back this week??' :D


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 11:06 pm 
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dyna-ti wrote:
Work out an approximate cost of all monies spent bringing up said child to this stage. Include all the sundries like nappies, clothes, bedding,food but include all the little odd things like calpol,milton fluid.prams, pushchairs Make a very very long list then print it off with a total at the bottom.
Present it to child and ask them- 'Now, how much would you like to pay back this week??' :D


Seems a tad harsh, given as parents we chose to have them, they had no voice in the matter.

All the same, though, I think as they start earning, having to contribute something (and up to that point, before they had income to contribute, they really should be contributing in other ways), I think, teaches them important life-lessons. The idea that not doing so is considered "kinder" may be a mistake - preparing them for the life ahead, and that there is always some overhead, and some responsibility required, is, in my opinion, kinder than letting them go by without doing so.

That said, I also like the idea of putting it by in an account for when they may need it, to say, get on the property ladder - but I also think the strength in that, is that they don't know that's what you're doing (which may be rather difficult with multiple children, with some gaps in their ages).


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 1:16 pm 
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My little un has cost me a packet and I'm only 9 months in! I try not to think about it as mrs b and myself are on reasonable wages and although we dont have mega disposable income we are comfortable

As for me, I never gave my folks anything - I left home at 17 and they helped with rent while I was at Uni (£180 per month bedsit affair) then as soon as I was out and in the real world they gave me a token amount each month which was to just make sure I was never going begging....

To this day (i'm 34), despite repeated attempts to make them stop they still give me something each month which for the last 18 months I scoop into a savings account for my daughter.

I know I cant repay them but they say it's fair as my younger brother lived at home till he was 25 paying nothing (he paid his first house deposit and a new car from his savings that were saved from his job)

As for my munchkin - once we have paid her through Uni she's on her own - if she wants to stay with us, wherever we are she'll be welcome to but I'll expect her to contribute something - even if its a token


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 1:27 pm 
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boxxer wrote:
My little un has cost me a packet and I'm only 9 months in! I try not to think about it as mrs b and myself are on reasonable wages and although we dont have mega disposable income we are comfortable

As for me, I never gave my folks anything - I left home at 17 and they helped with rent while I was at Uni (£180 per month bedsit affair) then as soon as I was out and in the real world they gave me a token amount each month which was to just make sure I was never going begging....

To this day (i'm 34), despite repeated attempts to make them stop they still give me something each month which for the last 18 months I scoop into a savings account for my daughter.

I know I cant repay them but they say it's fair as my younger brother lived at home till he was 25 paying nothing (he paid his first house deposit and a new car from his savings that were saved from his job)

As for my munchkin - once we have paid her through Uni she's on her own - if she wants to stay with us, wherever we are she'll be welcome to but I'll expect her to contribute something - even if its a token


Your lucky to be in a position to pay her through uni, I'm afraid having four there is no way I could pay £9000/year for the other three, number one is sorted, but if I had only one I could not afford the fees and then the living expenses, they'd have to do with a few quid every now and then if they were desperate :facepalm:

But I'm not sure about the idea that it teaches them to look after themselves, non of my family once in work, paid anything to my parents and we've all managed to find homes, look after ourselves, pay rent/mortgages and bills and eat reasonably well, without any real advice or charges at home.

I will add though my father-in-law does drop the odd cheque in the post, I think that is because he feels a bit guilty about having raised a second family that he likes to throw the odd few quid to members of his first.

Alison


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 1:39 pm 
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not sure the argument that it worked (or didn't not work) for the previous generation means that it is best for the next. If earning enough then surely better some money back to the family rather than on beer, and maybe even if can't afford for some to go to uni, if older have contributed then the youngest may have a chance, is this fair, maybe not but if can't afford it then can't afford it and why would any family member begrudge another an opportunity even if didn't have it themselves.

ps I thought the idea was that all the money was borrowed for uni these days anyway so not immediate cash flow ??, it was a grant back in my day


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 1:52 pm 
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daugs wrote:
not sure the argument that it worked (or didn't not work) for the previous generation means that it is best for the next. If earning enough then surely better some money back to the family rather than on beer, and maybe even if can't afford for some to go to uni, if older have contributed then the youngest may have a chance, is this fair, maybe not but if can't afford it then can't afford it and why would any family member begrudge another an opportunity even if didn't have it themselves.

ps I thought the idea was that all the money was borrowed for uni these days anyway so not immediate cash flow ??, it was a grant back in my day


Yes it is all a loan that theoretically should only be paid pack once you are earning X amount/month but the government I hear are planning to sell student loans to private buyers, loans taken out from 1998, and this will probably end up with some post grad students having to pay back their loans, whether they are working or not or well paid or not, there will no longer be a lot of security for new student when they apply for a loan. My 8 year old has decided he'd never go to Uni because he does not want to be lumbered with a student debt, and I've not even mentioned it to him, which is sad in a way because he's in the top of his class and might really benefit from university, maybe he'll follow his bro into the Marines :)

There will be a lot less people going from less well off backgrounds, it will return to being only for the chosen few.

Alison


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 2:16 pm 
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Isaac_AG wrote:
But I'm not sure about the idea that it teaches them to look after themselves, non of my family once in work, paid anything to my parents and we've all managed to find homes, look after ourselves, pay rent/mortgages and bills and eat reasonably well, without any real advice or charges at home.


I think it teaches them that there's always an overhead to their living costs, that maybe they wouldn't organically realise. So many people, today, have invested nothing in terms of a pension - and many will tell you they can't afford it - were there always such an overhead, though, maybe that would be different.

Sometimes, the kindest, best thing you can do for your kids, isn't what you may necessarily think they'll appreciate right at that moment in time.

The idea of putting it by for them, also strikes me as good - because bearing in mind, all mortgages and pensions are, pragmatically, are enforced saving schemes.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 2:53 pm 
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Isaac_AG wrote:
My 8 year old has decided he'd never go to Uni because he does not want to be lumbered with a student debt, and I've not even mentioned it to him, which is sad in a way because he's in the top of his class and might really benefit from university, maybe he'll follow his bro into the Marines :)

There will be a lot less people going from less well off backgrounds, it will return to being only for the chosen few.

Alison


this is a real shame, I went when it was a grant and got the max possible given our financial circumstances, and would recommend university to anyone (with a slight proviso assuming good course at somewhere with a good reputation),

which reminds me of similar conversations at the weekend where family with one kid going, one not. Father keen for rent to be paid by earner, Mother less so but certain amount of denial that the chicks are about to leave the nest.


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