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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 10:16 am 
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
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Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:02 pm
Posts: 6737
Location: North Yorkshire
I really wish I could help you, I really feel for you. I have no experience of anyone in my family who has fallen into the trappings of these charlatans but unfortunately I know people do and it's like trying to convince a religious person that god doesn't exist, when they've become so engrossed in it.

I was reading some time ago, a woman's story about her mother, who's husband was a homeopathy practitioner and he was so convinced of it and it's ability to cure anything, he would not let his wife go to the GP when she was ill, he insisted on treating her himself, she died of a brain haemorrhage, did not deter him from his belief though.

Sorry I've probably made things feel worse :oops:

Alison


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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:02 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Thu May 03, 2012 7:13 pm
Posts: 2574
Location: The Cock Inn, Tillett, Herts
There's a local counselling and guidance service run by volunteers who can help you with your problem.

They're called the BNP.


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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 4:26 pm 
MacRetro rider
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Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:16 pm
Posts: 8661
IsaacAG typed:
Quote:
it's like trying to convince a religious person that god doesn't exist, when they've become so engrossed in it.



Be careful there, thats trampling on peoples beliefs, remember religion is integral to much of society, England even has an official State Religion in the form of the Anglican Church.
New age beliefs, Religion etc are philosophies that people base there lives on. Some aspects can be bad but others good, we all have our philosophies to get us through life.

Ask yourself, does the new age stuff make her happy, was she happy before, if not why. We all do stuff because of preceding stuff. Whats her view on you and your bikes, did she feel left out, does she now feel fullfilled.

Think carefully, will expressing annoyance at her spending be accepted in regard to your spending.

Life requires give and take and acceptance of different ideas. Just because you dont like your partners choices do not make them wrong if it does not harm your relationship in a real and detrimental way.

I'm a divorcee and my ex was into alternative therapy and new age thinking. I however am a scientific type requiring proof. We debated the pros and cons of her beliefs and mine but they were not the cause of our divorce. I often let her practice therapies on me, it did no harm, I learned stuff if I could keep my mind open and she learned not to accept everything purely on someones say so.

Try to be open minded and relaxed, you dont have to believe but dont deride her beliefs either.

Right enough of my fence sitting, i'm getting splinters in my backside :wink:


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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 4:29 pm 
Gold Trader
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Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2007 11:19 pm
Posts: 7006
Location: Odense, Denmark
Great post there velomaniac. Some good stuff indeed.


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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 4:32 pm 
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
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Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:02 pm
Posts: 6737
Location: North Yorkshire
velomaniac wrote:
IsaacAG typed:
Quote:
it's like trying to convince a religious person that god doesn't exist, when they've become so engrossed in it.



Be careful there, thats trampling on peoples beliefs, remember religion is integral to much of society, England even has an official State Religion in the form of the Anglican Church.
New age beliefs, Religion etc are philosophies that people base there lives on. Some aspects can be bad but others good, we all have our philosophies to get us through life.



Sorry, I wasn't intending to criticise peoples religious beliefs, I was just using it to explain that it is extremely hard to change someone beliefs in something they feel strongly about, and religion is such a thing.

No offence meant :oops:

Alison


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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 6:03 pm 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:33 pm
Posts: 11108
Location: The Home Of Mountain Biking, And All Great Things.
My ex, a Dane as you know, was heavily into a particular 'therapy' when I first met her. She encouraged me into it, and I went along with it happily and open minded. The therapy was very cult like and most of the people involved were really 'heavy'. In time I helped her towards more conventional person centred counselling, and Buddhism for the spiritual fix. In time she resolved a lot of the issues the previous group had done nothing to help. She is now a successful psychologist. I reckon if she had stuck with the original group of loonies she would still be a slave to it and unable to move forward.


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PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 9:38 am 
Gold Trader
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Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2007 11:19 pm
Posts: 7006
Location: Odense, Denmark
This is what I'm concerned about too...

Problem is that I'm so anti-religion (having been brought up religiously) that I have very low tolerance threshold to charlatanism.

I've tried leaving her to it for years but it's got to a stage where I'm finding it really hard to just sit back and hope.


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PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 10:12 am 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:18 pm
Posts: 3798
Location: Staffordshire
I come from Totnes, ground zero for every hippy health fad the world has ever seen. Every time I go 'home' I want to weep.

I'm interested in crystals but only because I'm a geologist. All Totnes has as a result of its spiritualism is a high street clogged with goddamn hippies and a measles hotspot waiting to happen.

Point out that none of this rubbish works with young children or animals. All they know is that their XYZ hurts and that placing a pretty rock on it doesn't do anything.


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 10:30 am 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:35 am
Posts: 1006
Location: mostly in my backgarden building my shed
Posted two youtube links earlier in post, new one here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjmFm8PIz8M
Not sure if you've watched any of these yet, this latest one is best.
Like I said, get the inlaws round and have a night in..
Really hope this helps
Peace


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 12:28 pm 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:36 pm
Posts: 4007
Location: uk
not sure if this is a good idea or not, but try buying a couple of books backed up by science, on say positive thinking and the effects on the body, and the positive effects of placebo's....etc.......and start reading them till she notices and gets interested.........then you could bridge your divide with........'' yes there are alternatives to traditional '' hard medicines '' etc, and it's great that science/psychology is validating some of them so we cab be 100% sure and people are getting full benefits, whilst stripping away the ones that cause more harm in the end...........i think the NHS is all for ''proper'' holistic ways to aid good health.


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