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 Post subject: Re: Divorce question...
PostPosted: Thu May 16, 2013 2:11 pm 
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
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Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:02 pm
Posts: 6736
Location: North Yorkshire
hamster wrote:
Having a child is really, really hard. I bet you are both knackered. Give it time.
Life with a new baby is pretty dreadful! Things do improve.

Anybody who says that having a baby would bring you together had clearly never had a baby I remember my wife and I having screaming rows - the sleep deprivation and sheer hard work make a pressure cooker atmosphere. We rarely row now, 10 years and 2 children later.

Stick with it.


He's so right, I've four and as babies, although wonderful, took a lot out of us when it came to exhaustion and jealousy with the older ones, you often end up saying things, horrible things, that you really don't mean, if my hubby believed everything I said he'd have left me years ago, I would have left me too. Now they are older 8, 11 and 13 and we have struggled through we are getting on like a house on fire. this year will be our 21st anniversary :shock:

Alison


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 Post subject: Re: Divorce question...
PostPosted: Thu May 16, 2013 2:34 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Thu May 03, 2012 7:13 pm
Posts: 2574
Location: The Cock Inn, Tillett, Herts
Try lookin after a baby and a wife with MS qhile holding down a full time job if you want to know about sleep deprivation. On the plus side, all the grief and effort made me all the more determined to be a mensch and take proper care of them, where as itd probably have driven me to homocide with my ex. If you truly love them you'll man up and get on with it - if you dont then all the soft lights an candles in the world won't change it if its that broken.


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 Post subject: Re: Divorce question...
PostPosted: Thu May 16, 2013 2:36 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:08 pm
Posts: 2185
Location: Shrewsbury
+1 on the don't rush into a divorce. Having a 10 month old brings most people to a mental and physical low point. Its amazing how a little bag of fun can totally wear down two adults. It becomes easy to blame the other partner, 'I'm knackered because you don't do enough!'

It will get easier, kids actually become fun at around 18 to 24 months.

If you've got family who will baby sit for a night, book a break, get pissed, shag your arses off and have one of those 'normal' nights you used to have before kids. If you can see it through you will both become stronger.

Good luck to all of you :)


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 Post subject: Re: Divorce question...
PostPosted: Thu May 16, 2013 9:32 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2011 9:29 pm
Posts: 1877
Location: Somerset
greenstiles wrote:
If me and my wife split am i responsible for any debt in her name only, like her credit cards...........crap that i'm having to ask this with a 10 month old son :( ......hormones ?


Just think of not seeing your boy everyday. A son needs a dad (not that a daughter doesn't). Go to relate and get some help sooner rather than later.


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 Post subject: Re: Divorce question...
PostPosted: Thu May 16, 2013 9:49 pm 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:33 pm
Posts: 11104
Location: The Home Of Mountain Biking, And All Great Things.
While that is a consideration, children are not necessarily better off in a two parent household where the parents don't get along.

Second the suggestion to go to relate; and hope you can all work this out.

I spent my early life watching my parents tear each other to pieces, it is better to put everything into resolving things sooner than later to spare the lad that.


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 Post subject: Re: Divorce question...
PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 8:39 am 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:36 pm
Posts: 4007
Location: uk
Good advice from many people, it's giving me some perspective that i needed....many thank, really thank you.


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