To be a MAMIL you need to be associated
with one of the following:
1. A brightly coloured Specialized bike with a duff pair of wheels.
2. An expensive helmet.
3. A years membership of Cycling Fitness Magazine.
5. A T-shirt and plastic medal from a 50km sportive.
6. Hairy legs or
7. Shaved legs that look like you've walked through a hedge.
8. No mudguards in wet weather.
9. To ride in black clothing in wet weather.
10. Wear shorts all year round.
11. Not saying "Hello!" to other cyclists whilst on the road.
12. A paunch.
13. Scared of mending a puncture.
14. Can't ride in a straight line.
15. Can't ride safely in a bunch.
16. Can't unclip from your pedals at junctions/lights and fall off.
17. Boast in the office that you did 100km in a sportive at the weekend for charity and you are doing another one next weekend (but it took you 12 hours).
18. Think an Audax is a french cake.
19. Believe Wiggo & Cav have won everything they have ever entered and can't name a British cyclist before them.
20. Think Armstrong hasn't really cheated because he's done a lot of work for charity.
21. A MAMIL's Sunday ride starts at 11am.
Give 'em a year and they'll be back on the golf course, not really knowing what cycling is all about...