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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 9:49 am 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:36 pm
Posts: 4007
Location: uk
Wife has booked a holiday in May that we have no money for......i paid £500 off the credit card before xmas and we paid another £500 a bit before that.......well she spent £500 on people she knows at her 1 day a week college course at xmas :evil: !!!!.......

She is on maternity leave and could go back in April, but says if she does they may not honour the holiday she has booked......so she wants to go back later.......thing is her maternity pay runs out in March...........she also needs to give 8 weeks notice to return to work for April but wants to go back later...............

Well i'm between work at the moment, just starting as an NHS volunteer to help get work in the near future....also a small private support firm (i volunteer with) will be offering me some shifts when they take over a new business.

So for me the future could be bright....ie wife could work part time, me part or full time..........BUT if she doesn't face facts about the next few months we will have no rent money at all, with or without a holiday ( which she would prob have to put on her credit card)


Every time i mention being careful with money or the gap in the maternity pay she just gets defensive and angry...........i've always paid my rent and utility bills on time,but it's like she's decided they don't exist, she never looks in the bank any more and just takes till it's gone......she never used to be like that..........

Maybe i'm panicing but i'm afraid that she is going to keep ignoring this and we are going to be in serious trouble.

I've seen 1st hand how easy it is to become homless.........i'm having a bad day :cry:


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:03 am 
Gold Trader
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Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 12:28 pm
Posts: 3361
Location: The Admiral Benbow
look on the bright side, she wouldent put ketchup on your roast :)


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:06 am 
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
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Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:02 pm
Posts: 6737
Location: North Yorkshire
If I was left to my own devices I would be terrible with money and homeless within a few months, seriously! my vice being beer, not excessively but it soon adds up.

We use YNAB (you need a budget) a software bundle that keeps track of your finances and stick as religiously to that as we can of course things do happen that you don't expect like the car breaking down but you put money into emergancy funds and that helps a bit. If we did not do this I don't know how we'd cope as money would be flying of the shelf like karma goods on Retrobike :) I do confess to trying to get Dom to spend money but he just says " NO we can't afford it" I may sulk a bit but I know deep down he's making sense.

I don't know how people afford holidays, we can't, the children have only been on school holidays and our income isn't that low, we just go for days out in the school holidays and that is pricey in itself :(

Alison


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 12:32 pm 
Retro Guru

Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:55 am
Posts: 2922
Location: Dorset
Its the root of all evil Money :(

In 20 years its the only thing that my Wife and i argue about and thats luckily rare and done quietly as not to worry the kids.

One piece of advice is make sure the rent is paid and things like council tax, the rest can be negotiated if things get 'tough', you can always agree to pay a small ammount.

I worked for a credit control department and litigations and have seen how peoples lives can be ripped apart by debt mostly people who have just fallen on hard times, marital breakdowns, unemployment, illness etc.

And if you need help there are charities, that can help and the cccs.

Hope your day gets better :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 1:42 pm 
Two Fat Ladies

Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2012 7:43 pm
Posts: 88
Location: West Mids
If you can't afford a holiday, you shouldn't go on one, simple as that. It's not rocket science, if you wan't something you can't afford, you will be going into debt to get it. The important things in situations like this are your finacial obligations, such as rent/mortgage, council tax etc. If you don't pay these you'll get a bad credit rating, and possibly a ccj against your name, and you don't want that. Any money left over, do whatever the hell you want with it.

There are quite a few charities that you can talk to if you need advice, or find yourself in a tight spot.

Holidays don't have to be as expensive as you think. What about camping for a week, it can cost as little as a day out!


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:14 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Tue May 17, 2011 11:31 pm
Posts: 934
Location: Costa Blanca
I hope it all turns out good for you holiday and the baby 8)
Me and my missis only use cash or debit cards if we cant afford it then tuff s**t :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:23 pm 
Retro Guru

Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2008 12:12 am
Posts: 680
Location: Anglesey
I am absolutely hopeless with money - it's not that I want loads of expensive things, I'm just totally unable to grasp the basics of incomings and outgoings at any level. I ran up huge debts while I lived at home, and if it weren't for my other half keeping me on a tight financial leash then I'd definitely be homeless by now. It does cause a few arguments, and it's incredibly frustrating to be told how you can (or can't) spend your own money, but I'm always going to need that. Unfortunately, I never even realised I had a problem until I was being threatened with CCJs and bailiffs, which I imagine is true of a lot of other people as well.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:39 pm 
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
Karma Queen / Cake Meisterin
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Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:02 pm
Posts: 6737
Location: North Yorkshire
Koupe wrote:
I am absolutely hopeless with money - it's not that I want loads of expensive things, I'm just totally unable to grasp the basics of incomings and outgoings at any level. I ran up huge debts while I lived at home, and if it weren't for my other half keeping me on a tight financial leash then I'd definitely be homeless by now. It does cause a few arguments, and it's incredibly frustrating to be told how you can (or can't) spend your own money, but I'm always going to need that. Unfortunately, I never even realised I had a problem until I was being threatened with CCJs and bailiffs, which I imagine is true of a lot of other people as well.


We got into terrible debt years ago and I've never worked out how. I know the "you've made your bed so lay in it" camp will be against this but we went for an IVA after being advised by the CAB and that really helped us sort ourselves out and now that is over and paid off we stick to cash and debit cards.

Alison


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:57 pm 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:36 pm
Posts: 4007
Location: uk
I guess my volunteering at the homeless shelter will get me a bed if i need one.....i also used to access the food bank for clients...be ironic if i end up the same..........have arranged 'the talk' with the wife away from house and baby :wink:


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:59 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Tue May 17, 2011 11:31 pm
Posts: 934
Location: Costa Blanca
You never know the Karma gods may sort you out for your good deads?


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