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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 6:41 pm 
Devout Dirtbag

Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2011 1:49 pm
Posts: 134
Location: South Wales
UK HEADLINES FROM THEYEAR 2040

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.

White minorities still trying to have English recognised as the UK's
third language.

Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in
schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as
whales
are now extinct, and the scientific research fleet are unemployed.
UK
Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like
whale
meat.

Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor
Goldman of LSPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to
stop people saying what they think.

Britain 's deficit £15 trillion and rising. Government declares
return
to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime
Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more
immigration is the secret to success.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Iran still isolated. Physicists estimate at least ten more years
before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic
Countries. No other country comes forward.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US
President in 2042.

Post Office raises price of stamps to £28 and reduces mail delivery
to
Wednesdays only.

After a ten-year, £75.8 billion study commissioned by the Labour
Party, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and
human rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet,
seven inches.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2045 as
lethal
weapons.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.

Bradford win FA Cup Final, beating Hindu Hornets 4-1.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 7:06 pm 
Retro Guru

Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:08 am
Posts: 847
Location: French Alps/Annecy
A Laugh at the Future UK; Or A Possibility?


No just a slightly sad attempt at acceptable racial intolerance.


Last edited by B77 on Thu Jan 31, 2013 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:51 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:23 pm
Posts: 938
I suppose someone has to read The Express.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:53 pm 
retrobike rider / Gold Trader
retrobike rider / Gold Trader
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Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 10:35 pm
Posts: 8423
Location: The desolate flats of Cambridgeshire
Courtesy of the daily mail or an EDL blog site?


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 9:56 pm 
Retro Guru
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2012 9:20 am
Posts: 823
Location: On my sofa
...and I thought my Mexican drug war blog link was in bad taste.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 11:08 pm 
Old School Grand Master
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:33 pm
Posts: 11105
Location: The Home Of Mountain Biking, And All Great Things.
Moss wrote:
UK HEADLINES FROM THEYEAR 2040

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.

White minorities still trying to have English recognised as the UK's
third language.

Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in
schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as
whales
are now extinct, and the scientific research fleet are unemployed.
UK
Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like
whale
meat.

Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor
Goldman of LSPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to
stop people saying what they think.

Britain 's deficit £15 trillion and rising. Government declares
return
to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime
Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more
immigration is the secret to success.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Iran still isolated. Physicists estimate at least ten more years
before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic
Countries. No other country comes forward.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US
President in 2042.

Post Office raises price of stamps to £28 and reduces mail delivery
to
Wednesdays only.

After a ten-year, £75.8 billion study commissioned by the Labour
Party, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and
human rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet,
seven inches.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2045 as
lethal
weapons.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.

Bradford win FA Cup Final, beating Hindu Hornets 4-1.


By line three it was clear. Pure pish.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 11:25 pm 
Devout Dirtbag

Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2011 1:49 pm
Posts: 134
Location: South Wales
Well - well, I can see by the replies that there's not a great deal of humour in your lives!

laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone. The ability to laugh at one's-self; shows love in the heart and mind for others.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 11:34 pm 
Old School Grand Master
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 4211
Location: London for my sin's
Moss wrote:
Well - well, I can see by the replies that there's not a great deal of humour in your lives!

laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone. The ability to laugh at one's-self; shows love in the heart and mind for others.


but its unfunny crap.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 11:54 pm 
Old School Grand Master
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:33 pm
Posts: 11105
Location: The Home Of Mountain Biking, And All Great Things.
Moss wrote:
Well - well, I can see by the replies that there's not a great deal of humour in your lives!

laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone. The ability to laugh at one's-self; shows love in the heart and mind for others.


If I need a second opinion on humour I certainly won't be consulting someone who posts hackneyed stereotyping prejudicial shite in the name of a 'laugh'.

Miserable sod.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 11:56 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:23 pm
Posts: 938
my opinon of this forum has gone up again 8)


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