Careless teens - what to do? Now with new dilemma.

Maybe not the right place to post this but can I pick the brains of other parents of teens here?

My 14-year old eldest son has managed to get 2 bikes stolen in less than a month.

Our family has always been a "low bike theft" family with only one bike being stolen in 1997 and none since....

The the last 2 months - my eldest has started having to go to classes in the neighbouring town, which entails a train journey. Twice in the last month, he has been late for the train and not had time to lock the bike before. Both times the bike was stolen when he got back from the class. I was soft on him first time because it was partly my fault he was late... Second time it wasn't so he got the full riot act and a bill for the £400 the bike cost.

But why do teens do this risky stuff and does anyone have a better strategy than the one I'm using - I don't want to screw his brain up totally.... and now I'm making him walk to the station it might make him drop out of the course which is an extra one....

Any ideas folks?

Sounds to me like he needs a lesson in the value of money/belongings so he starts to think twice about his possessions. Just make him work to pay off the £400 for the bike and then if he wants another bike make him work to earn the money to pay for it, sound fair?

double post

2-yorkshire square owners clearly think alike.....

I've already taken the cash off him. Problem is he hardly batted an eyelid - as he still had a load of cash left from his confirmation (Stupid Danish tradition which puts far too much cash in the hands of kids too young to appreciate its value).

I'm thinking about putting him to work to build his own bike so he actually places a value on it.

Take away his money until he is 18?

What does he like the most? Xbox etc.? Take them away and have him earn them back?

What a toughie.
Maybe if he has respect for a grand parent get them to speak to him?

I thought get him to build his own also. With his own tools? (That he may have to buy?).

dbmtb":3hi7st1r said:

2-yorkshire square owners clearly think alike.....

I've already taken the cash off him. Problem is he hardly batted an eyelid - as he still had a load of cash left from his confirmation (Stupid Danish tradition which puts far too much cash in the hands of kids too young to appreciate its value).

I'm thinking about putting him to work to build his own bike so he actually places a value on it.

Click to expand...

Can't you take his 'confirmation' cash off him, stick it into an ISA type account and make him work to earn whatever money he needs, either doing odd jobs for pocket money or proper work in the shop on a minimum wage?

cyfa2809":2okk6kg2 said:

Take away his money until he is 18?

What does he like the most? Xbox etc.? Take them away and have him earn them back?

What a toughie.
Maybe if he has respect for a grand parent get them to speak to him?

I thought get him to build his own also. With his own tools? (That he may have to buy?).

Click to expand...

Games ban would work - but would be unfair on his younger brother who he shares the consoles with. Younger brother is of course learning from all his bros mistakes, like my kid brother did. Being the eldest sucks.
Respect for grandparents - good idea - as it was their money he'd taken it out of.
Taking away the money - will discuss with the wife - may be doable.

Its a right old minefield though isnt it. I was trying to think on why i was a bad teen (as most of us were) and i remembered that my grandparents were soft as hell yet i respected everything they said to the letter more so than my parents. Maybe it is because you become too familiar with your parents and thus grow to know the behaviours.

.

Obviously bike should have been locked up by your son.
Make him walk until he can afford to pay for a new one himself without utilising his confirmation money?

When i was 13-14ish i had 2 bikes stolen from outside the local skateboard shop within weeks of each other. I skateboarded everywhere for about 3 years afterwards as you can take a skateboard into shops/onto trains

Was the bike not insured?

the teens continue to do it because they know as much as you moan about it you will replace it

either he does chores to pay for the replacement or...you sell something he actually has to pay for it which would be more effective

the other option is to kick his lazy arse out of bed with a better alarm clock