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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:03 pm 
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Location: On my sofa
Out driving in the pouring rain this morning to pick up a bookcase came across three bike clots (I did give them plenty of room mind)

Bike clot 1
Cycling along a busy B road with both V-Brakes disconnected. 'Never mind - the back of a car will slow me down a treat'. The bike was quite posh but also had a flat tyre. I don't think he could see the contempt on driver's faces as his hood was tightly done up eliminating 90% of his peripheral vision.

Bike clot 2
Being caught out in the rain cycling in a suit could happen to anyone but taking off your front light and waving it behind you to help other road users see you should be a criminal offence.

Bike clot 3
Just ahead of bike clot 2 - peddling with heels in too low a gear squashing his testicles each pedal stroke. Also his helmet wasn't done up but his dapper suit saved any sartorial blushes.

I sometimes think if you venture out on a bike you need a license if not an IQ test - certainly the above three behaved as if they could've been out-thought by a glass of water :roll:


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:30 pm 
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Location: Antwerp, Belgium
I just don't get it how people can ride with one brake disconnected, nevermind both brakes. How stupid can you be?

As for #2, at least he had a front light. Most don't even have that.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:04 pm 
retrobike rider
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I prefer trail centre cycle clots; you know, those guys (it is ALWAYS a guy) with massive full sussers, that insist on riding around the car park or outside the cafe bouncing up and down on the suspension, and pulling wheelies, while wearing a full neck brace. Sometimes the effect is further enhances by wearing a full face crash helmet pulled up to the forehead, so that it is worn like a giant multicoloured bowler hat.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:13 pm 
MacRetro rider
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No. 1 sounds like he was probably a bike thief.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:17 pm 
Section Moderator & South West AEC
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on my little trip to wales this week the trail centre numpties were epic! :lol:

at Llandegla it was quite busy, everyone was on full suss bikes, mostly generalized and giant and Orange, almost everyone was wearing those semi full face helmets and loads of body armour :roll: :lol:

i freely admit i was riding my patriot66 but i was informed it would be the best bike to use, i then realised i could have happily ridden the whole thing on my clockwork as it was one of the smoothest trail centre ever! :wink:

also on saturday coed y brenin was nothing short of hilarious! the car park looked like a bunch of audi driving sales reps had crashed into halfords! and then it got so much more funny on the trails!

it almost makes me want to ride trail centres on the weekends instead of week days just for comedy factor! :lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:18 pm 
retrobike rider
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Location: He doesn't live in "The You-Kay"; he lives in GREAT BRITAIN!
NeilM wrote:
I prefer trail centre cycle clots; you know, those guys (it is ALWAYS a guy) with massive full sussers, that insist on riding around the car park or outside the cafe bouncing up and down on the suspension, and pulling wheelies, while wearing a full neck brace. Sometimes the effect is further enhances by wearing a full face crash helmet pulled up to the forehead, so that it is worn like a giant multicoloured bowler hat.


My favourite trail centre story is when I saw a lad and his girlfriend head off down the Quercus Trail at Whinlatter. He didn't have a rear brake, so he swung his leg round and managed to scrub off speed [The saddle was numpty-low] by brushing the side of his Vans canvas trainer against the tread blocks on his tyre. I think it's significant that this Yoof was wearing a man-cardie... A beany hat might have come into it but a helmet certainly didn't!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:32 pm 
retrobike rider
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Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2008 2:36 pm
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Location: Yorkshire, England
To be fair though, if the numpties stopped using trail centres then they would close.
and you'd have them riding our nice proper un-caged trails instead.

So please encourage them to be there.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:58 pm 
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Rumble wrote:
No. 1 sounds like he was probably a bike thief.


Should've made a citizens arrest for him being a bike thief or a bit mental


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 8:01 pm 
Gold Trader / MacRetro rider
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Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:36 pm
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NeilM wrote:
I prefer trail centre cycle clots; you know, those guys (it is ALWAYS a guy) with massive full sussers, that insist on riding around the car park or outside the cafe bouncing up and down on the suspension, and pulling wheelies, while wearing a full neck brace. Sometimes the effect is further enhances by wearing a full face crash helmet pulled up to the forehead, so that it is worn like a giant multicoloured bowler hat.


Ahh, you spotted me then! :oops: :lol: :lol:

G


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 8:04 pm 
retrobike rider
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Enid_Puceflange wrote:
NeilM wrote:
I prefer trail centre cycle clots; you know, those guys (it is ALWAYS a guy) with massive full sussers, that insist on riding around the car park or outside the cafe bouncing up and down on the suspension, and pulling wheelies, while wearing a full neck brace. Sometimes the effect is further enhances by wearing a full face crash helmet pulled up to the forehead, so that it is worn like a giant multicoloured bowler hat.


Ahh, you spotted me then! :oops: :lol: :lol:

G


Only if you've been to the Forest of Dean and Bristol this summer.

If not...... :wink:


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