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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:17 am 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:46 pm
Posts: 962
Location: Montpellier, France
A woman walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'd like a double entendre please."

So he gives her one.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:24 am 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 2:33 am
Posts: 2918
Location: daaan saaaf
A horse walks into a bar, barman says: "Why the long face?"


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:44 am 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:55 am
Posts: 7058
Location: The land of Lea & Perrins
A man walks into a bar.

He curses, rubs his head and asks who put it there.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:46 am 
Retro Guru

Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:08 am
Posts: 847
Location: French Alps/Annecy
In a pub just after closing time the barman was clearing up when there was a tapping on the door. He opened the door and in walked the ghost of a cat carrying it's tail in its paws. 'please help me' said the feline phantom, 'my cruel owner cut of my tail and I bled to death, I need someone to sew it back on before I can find my eternal rest.'
The barman looked at The tabby apparition and said 'I'd really like to help you but I'm not allowed to retail spirits after 11pm.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 12:00 pm 
Gold Trader / PoTM Winner
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Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:35 pm
Posts: 2784
Peice of string walks into a bar... asks for a beer.
"sorry dude, we don't serve pieces of string in here", says the barman...
"oh" says the string, and leaves

String returns with a hat and moustache on
"nice try" says the barman... and tells the string to leave

String ruffles himself up, and tries for a 3rd time...
"c'mon" says the barman, "this is getting silly now"

"Dont know what you mean" says the string

"Well, you know the rules buddy.... you ARE a piece of string, aren't you?"

"No, I'm a frayed knot"
:wink:


G


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 12:26 pm 
MacRetro rider
MacRetro rider
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Joined: Sat May 22, 2010 7:25 pm
Posts: 4977
Location: Edinburgh
A dyslexic walks into a bra.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 1:12 pm 
Old School Grand Master

Joined: Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:37 am
Posts: 3976
a white horse walks into a bar

barman: did you know there is a pub named after you?

horse: what? there is a pub called Cyril?


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 2:37 pm 
Retrobike's #1 Comedy Genius
Retrobike's #1 Comedy Genius
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Joined: Thu Jan 04, 2007 8:07 pm
Posts: 4104
Location: Wolkenkuckucksheim
I believe Al is bringing all your coats......... :P


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 2:52 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 2:33 am
Posts: 2918
Location: daaan saaaf
A bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a pint of .............................. bitter please".

Barman says "Why the big paws".


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:00 pm 
eBay Outing Master
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Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:53 pm
Posts: 8000
A drunk goes into a bar. The bartender tosses him out as he is too drunk. The drunk walks back into the bar. Again, the bartender throws him out for being too drunk. Again the drunk walks into the bar. The bartender is just about the throw him out when the drunk looks at him and says, "How many bars do you own, anyway?"


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