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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 11:42 am 
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In the last 18 month a family member of mine has been investigated and convicted of grooming over the internet, this made my blood boil but to be honest I kept an open mind on it till he was convicted and I found out the full charges, he spent 6 months in prison and then came out to live with his 74 and 78 year old parents.

And in all honesty I kept my mouth shut for around 4 - 8 weeks until he started to twist them being that these are my grandparents it became difficult and even more so as they live the time it takes a kettle to boil away.

The twist in this is that five years ago I lost a child due to still birth and my grandparents namely grandad was very good to me at the time I didn’t have the money to bury the baby and he paid for the lot but put the burial plot in his name with all that has gone on more recently he told me to dig up my son and move him.

It was at this point I lost it and said enough’s enough and told the neighbours of his son, my uncles conviction as a nonce a few neighbours who I know have come to ask more and sounds like they aren’t happy and want him out one way or another as do I but these despite everything have been my grandparents of 32 years and obviously its difficult to accept they could be so callous and twisted


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 12:00 pm 
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Yes.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:15 pm 
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Probably yes.....as with all decisions you are never sure of the fallout, but you obviously thought long and hard and decided there was no other option for you...at the end of the day your family comes first mate.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:28 pm 
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I agree.
My brother has got himself into money trouble over the past 3 years and kept it quiet as long as he could. He has left his ex wife and 2 kids with nothing. He owes me alot! of money that he cant pay back, and has registered his address at my parents so they get all ther grief when people from the courts come looking for him. My Dad seems to refuse to do anything about it. (probably because bro has had a child with the woman he was having an affair with) So i suppose he is just trying to protect his grandaughter.
I am thinking of finding where he is living and letting the courts know.

And to top it off he is 16 years older than me. I used to look upto him when I was younger......so much for that now!!! :x


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 11:35 pm 
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neilll wrote:
Probably yes.....as with all decisions you are never sure of the fallout, but you obviously thought long and hard and decided there was no other option for you...at the end of the day your family comes first mate.


fall out already happened on this one but the sad thing is the people who havent done anything got the blame namely my mother she got called evil and everything and had nothing to do with any of it. big family fall out like but i suppose thats what finding a nonce in the family does for you


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 5:49 pm 
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Sad thing is that you obviously know how conniving, deceitful and manipulative your relative can be with his track record and it's that that's behind all of this, not your grandparents (they have been 'got at' in the same way as your relative's 'grooming' victim was, ie ready to believe that morally evil things are alright or normal) . It's sad but when it comes to parents/relatives of evil people they often can't see the wood from the trees.
I say stand back and have nothing to do with the whole affair. It won't help sort the situation out but it will stop you having to deal with a load of grief, stress and upset that you can do without. Evil people can make a bad situation far worse for others at the slightest provocation and as they have no morals, they don’t care about the consequences.

His comeuppance will come, but you can’t be the one that your grandparents blame for it, it must be squarely on his head for them to realise the error of their actions in supporting him in the first place.

Sick, sad world with lots of evil f*ckers in it, makes you cry.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:18 am 
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pete_mcc wrote:
I say stand back and have nothing to do with the whole affair. It won't help sort the situation out but it will stop you having to deal with a load of grief, stress and upset that you can do without.

His comeuppance will come, but you can’t be the one that your grandparents blame for it, it must be squarely on his head for them to realise the error of their actions in supporting him in the first place.



I agree, you have said your piece, and that is all you can do. I would write them a letter of apology, explaining that you see thier side, and you will let the matter drop. Let them know that you admire them, and will be there for them if they need help. I would reckon that they do feel somewhat helpless.

I have been through the same family drama involving a sibling abusing my parents. It is important that your grandparents feel not alone.

Sorry,
Terry


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:31 am 
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I agree, you have said your piece, and that is all you can do. I would write them a letter of apology, explaining that you see thier side, and you will let the matter drop. Let them know that you admire them, and will be there for them if they need help. I would reckon that they do feel somewhat helpless.

I have been through the same family drama involving a sibling abusing my parents. It is important that your grandparents feel not alone.

Sorry,
Terry


so what you are saying is i should apologise for them telling me to dig my son up from his grave and move him elsewhere and thats putting in terms acceptable for the forum the words used where more harsh.

yeah i felt guilty at first but not any more rest assured i dont anymore and oh well mores the pity looks like neighbours have taken things into there own hands as i was woken up at 5:50am with a phone call accusing me of doing it sad thing is i never as wife was on nights and i got 4 kids who i wouldnt leave in house alone to do it, but would like to shake the hand the people that did do it.

so no letter of apology they can all rot in hell before that ever happens as i aint done anything so why should i[/quote]


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 2:08 am 
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No way fella. What I think is that you've done what you should (and any person in your position should) have done, now you step away and leave them to it. Their callousness is a result of the twisted fu*k they are sheltering and, in time, he will get what's coming to him (either through your initial intervention or through other means) - evil people like him don't get away with it for long anymore.
I think what's best for you is to now get away from it as more damage can be done by evil fu*ks who feel threatened and they will aim their hate at the nearest and clearest target, as he has already done with your mother and son. Steer clear and let nature take it's course, once the fu*k has had his comeuppance, you won't be the first your grandparents blame and hopefully in time they will realise their error.

I'm sorry that my advice can't have more empathy for your situation as I have, thankfully, never been in that place, but I have had nastiness in my family that lead me to take similar actions that worked out for the best in the end .


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