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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:34 pm 
retrobike rider
retrobike rider
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Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:13 am
Posts: 1312
Location: I don't know, the satnav's bust!
It was either this or Ernie, by Benny Hill, but Groucho Marx wins

Lydia The Tattooed Lady lyrics

My life was wrapped around the circus.
Her name was Lydia.
I met her at the world's fair in 1900,
marked down from 1940.


Ah, Lydia.
She was the most glorious creature
Under the su-un.
Guiess. DuBarry. Garbo.
Rolled into one.

Oooooooh
Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Lydia, the Tattooed Lady.
She has eyes that folks adore so,
And a torso even more so.

Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopidia,
Oh Lydia the Queen of Tattoo.
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo.
Beside it the wreck of the Hesperus, too.
And proudly above waves the Red, White, and Blue,
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

When her robe is unfurled, she will show you the world,
If you step up and tell her where.
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paris,
Or Washington crossing the Delaware.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Oh Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Oh Lydia the Tattooed Lady
When her muscles start relaxin',
Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson

Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopidia,
oh Lydia the queen of them all!
For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz,
With a view of Niagara that nobody has.
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz.
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Come along and see Buff'lo Bill with his lasso.
Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso.
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon.
Here's Godiva but with her pajamas on.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Here is Grover Whalen unveilin' the Trilon.
Over on the West Coast we have Treaure Island.
Here's Najinsky a-doin' the rhumba.
Here's her social security numba.

{whistles}La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia that encyclopidia,
Oh Lydia the champ of them all.
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet.
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat.
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet,
For he went and married Lydia.

I said Lydia
{He said Lydia}
They said Lydia
{We said Lydia}
La La!

these lyrics are submitted by kaan


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:23 pm 
South West Deputy AEC
South West Deputy AEC
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Joined: Mon Mar 27, 2006 9:16 pm
Posts: 1840
Location: Wilts
Fat boy on a diet, don't try it ... Cypress hill


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 1:04 am 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2012 2:28 am
Posts: 1060
Location: Near Gatwick
azaro wrote:
Well she wore big knickers and she worked on t' sewage farm!

Ahh sweaty Betty, I have an aunt called betty, haven't been able to keep a straight face when I see her, since I heard sweaty Betty. But I like Charlotte best, if I meet a Charlotte I will probably have to sing to her!!

I knew it's <unt was smelly, she smelt of rotting fish heads and
old crispy sick. Said it's name was Charlotte and wanted
suck me dick.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 8:40 am 
Gold Trader
Gold Trader
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Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:48 am
Posts: 639
Location: The East Riding
egg fried rice soft fried noodles,no I havnt seen your poodle :lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 10:40 am 
retrobike rider
retrobike rider
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Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:01 pm
Posts: 1290
Location: Looking at my bike from the comfort of my sofa!!
Anything by Morrissey basically!!!

A proper wordsmith!

eg:

Trudging slowly over wet sand
Back to the bench where your clothes were stolen

Let me get my hands on your mammary glands, And let me get your head On the conjugal bed I say, I say, I say

So you go and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home, and you cry, and you want to die

And if a double-decker bus. Crashes into us. To die by your side. Is such a heavenly way to die

You're the one for me, fatty

Sweetness, I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed


8)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 9:02 pm 
Gold Trader
Gold Trader
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Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 11:36 pm
Posts: 1140
Location: Roskilde, Denmark
jimo746 wrote:
"I got so much trouble on my mind, I refuse to lose"


Here's your ticket, hear the drummer get wicked?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:35 pm 
retrobike rider
retrobike rider

Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 7:17 pm
Posts: 1032
Location: North Yorkshire
And the hairs..... and the hairs..... they grew down to her knees,
It took a coal miner to find her va*ina
and the hairs on her dicky dido grew down to her knees....




trad wartime pbi song- Check Doctor Busker :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 8:54 pm 
Gold Trader
Gold Trader
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Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 12:28 pm
Posts: 3361
Location: The Admiral Benbow
All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy,
beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come
and everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 9:00 pm 
Gold Trader
Gold Trader
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Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 12:28 pm
Posts: 3361
Location: The Admiral Benbow
Aye an' a bit of Mackeral settler rack and ruin
ran it doon by the haim, 'ma place
well I slapped me and I slapped it doon in the side
and I cried, cried, cried.

The fear a fallen down taken never back the raize and then Craig Marion,
get out wi' ye Claymore out mi pocket a' ran doon, doon the middin stain
picking the fiery horde that was fallen around ma feet.
Never he cried, never shall it ye get me alive
ye rotten hound of the burnie crew. Well I snatched fer the blade O my
Claymore cut and thrust and I fell doon before him round his feet.

Aye! A roar he cried frae the bottom of his heart that I would nay fall
but as dead, dead as 'a can be by his feet; de ya ken?

...and the wind cried Mary.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 9:05 pm 
retrobike rider
retrobike rider
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Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:33 pm
Posts: 3977
Location: Brighton
"i've got more presence than attendance in a class of schizophrenics here,here"


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