Retrobike Forum Index

It is currently Fri Dec 02, 2016 11:13 pm

* Login   * Register * Search  * FAQ



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 4:28 pm 
King of the DuckBoard
King of the DuckBoard

Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:30 pm
Posts: 21466
So must be a Friday :lol:

THE WORST THING TO SAY WHEN RUNNING FOR U.S. PRESIDENT

I intend to withdraw from Iraq, and invade some real pussies... like Spain.
Hi there, I'm like George Bush, only less intelligent
I will never forget the terrible events of 9/12.
Now I know what you're thinking, a Sagitarrius for President? But I have Leo rising.
Yes, I've smoked marijuana, and I inhaled... just now.
There are no skeletons in my closed, just a black latex dildo suit.
I would like you to call me... President... Showaddywaddy
I have a magnificent war record - it's 'Pipes Of Peace' by Paul McCartney.
Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail.

UNLIKELY LINES TO HEAR ON A SCIENCE PROGRAMME

After working on the equation for thirty years, Professor Stephens made an incredible discovery - his wife had left him and he'd wasted his life.
The trade in human organs is shocking - this kidney cost me nearly a tenner.
Today we're going to be making a bomb using chapatti flour and hydrogen peroxide.
Which is faster, a dog or a crossbow bolt?
And that's how God created the world in seven days.
I escaped from a petri dish! What am I?!
Hello. My name's Jade Goody.
And that is how we can prove that aluminium is gay.
A cure for acute depression may be just around the corner. Oh here it is - a train.
And, as the mighty lion shakes the life out of this tiny gazelle, I feel strangely horny.
Well, that test was conclusive - cats have one life.

UNSETTLING THINGS TO HEAR FROM THE COCKPIT OF A PLANE

Thank God we're flying, I'm too pissed to drive.
We're about to experience a little bit of turbulence, and then a lot of falling.
This is the captain speaking, we're out at the moment, please leave a message after the tone.
Don't panic, just think of it as landing more vertically than normal.
Help me with my seatbelt Abu, I can't do it with this damn hook.
OK Captain Thomas, when I tap the windscreen, I want you to stop.
Wagner's 'Flight of the Valkyries' from 'Apocalypse Now'
If you look out over the right wing, you'll see the burning remains of the left wing.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:10 pm 
Dirt Disciple

Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:30 pm
Posts: 80
President
Don't worry. If I f*ck up, Superman will save us

Let's play global thermonuclear war

You lose. I didn't say "The Leader of the Free World says 'put your hands on your head'"

Science programme
The ozone layer is for poofs. Real men get skin cancer

We tested the effects of pumping nerve gas into the Big Brother House, and here are the results

Those clever boffins in Japan have come up with the future of home entertainment. It goes by the catchy title of Betamax

Plane
I'll bet anyone a fiver the black box can't survive a crash

Of course we're f**king surly. This is FlyanJet 3 Infant. You paid 2p for your flight. You want polite don't be a cheapskate and go BA next time

If the mask falls from the panel above your head, you've won a free flight


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 7:57 pm 
Retro Guru
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2006 3:28 pm
Posts: 1748
Location: The Netherlands
Quote:
Don't panic, just think of it as landing more vertically than normal.


Great :)


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: BerthaPog, brocklanders023, Mike Muz 67, mkone, The History Man and 17 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

About Us

Follow Retrobike

Other cool stuff

All content © 2005-2015 Retrobike unless otherwise stated.
Cookies Policy.
bikedeals - the best bike deals in one place
FatCOGS - Fat Chance Owner's Group

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group