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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 4:28 pm 
King of the DuckBoard
King of the DuckBoard
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:30 pm
Posts: 24654
Location: Riding a 26er
So must be a Friday :lol:


I intend to withdraw from Iraq, and invade some real pussies... like Spain.
Hi there, I'm like George Bush, only less intelligent
I will never forget the terrible events of 9/12.
Now I know what you're thinking, a Sagitarrius for President? But I have Leo rising.
Yes, I've smoked marijuana, and I inhaled... just now.
There are no skeletons in my closed, just a black latex dildo suit.
I would like you to call me... President... Showaddywaddy
I have a magnificent war record - it's 'Pipes Of Peace' by Paul McCartney.
Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail.


After working on the equation for thirty years, Professor Stephens made an incredible discovery - his wife had left him and he'd wasted his life.
The trade in human organs is shocking - this kidney cost me nearly a tenner.
Today we're going to be making a bomb using chapatti flour and hydrogen peroxide.
Which is faster, a dog or a crossbow bolt?
And that's how God created the world in seven days.
I escaped from a petri dish! What am I?!
Hello. My name's Jade Goody.
And that is how we can prove that aluminium is gay.
A cure for acute depression may be just around the corner. Oh here it is - a train.
And, as the mighty lion shakes the life out of this tiny gazelle, I feel strangely horny.
Well, that test was conclusive - cats have one life.


Thank God we're flying, I'm too pissed to drive.
We're about to experience a little bit of turbulence, and then a lot of falling.
This is the captain speaking, we're out at the moment, please leave a message after the tone.
Don't panic, just think of it as landing more vertically than normal.
Help me with my seatbelt Abu, I can't do it with this damn hook.
OK Captain Thomas, when I tap the windscreen, I want you to stop.
Wagner's 'Flight of the Valkyries' from 'Apocalypse Now'
If you look out over the right wing, you'll see the burning remains of the left wing.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:10 pm 
Dirt Disciple

Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:30 pm
Posts: 80
Don't worry. If I f*ck up, Superman will save us

Let's play global thermonuclear war

You lose. I didn't say "The Leader of the Free World says 'put your hands on your head'"

Science programme
The ozone layer is for poofs. Real men get skin cancer

We tested the effects of pumping nerve gas into the Big Brother House, and here are the results

Those clever boffins in Japan have come up with the future of home entertainment. It goes by the catchy title of Betamax

I'll bet anyone a fiver the black box can't survive a crash

Of course we're f**king surly. This is FlyanJet 3 Infant. You paid 2p for your flight. You want polite don't be a cheapskate and go BA next time

If the mask falls from the panel above your head, you've won a free flight

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 7:57 pm 
Retro Guru
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2006 3:28 pm
Posts: 1749
Location: The Netherlands
Don't panic, just think of it as landing more vertically than normal.

Great :)

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