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PostPosted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 9:44 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:37 pm
Posts: 1726
Location: UK Southwest
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses, And all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

Shouldn't have let the horses have first go!!! :mrgreen: :facepalm:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 9:59 am 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 2:04 pm
Posts: 3363
Location: Completely in the dark, thanks to me good mate Terry....
Alternatively:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

.....and that's when he called Claims Direct.

David


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 7:53 pm 
Classified Mod / Lincs, East and South Yorks AEC
Classified Mod / Lincs, East and South Yorks AEC
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Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:45 pm
Posts: 6006
Location: East Yorkshire
I went to see the Red Arrows today.

There were gasps of "Ooh" and "Aah" as the crowds watched on in amazement. Near miss after near miss had some people covering their eyes and shaking their heads in disbelief.

It was a good half hour's worth of entertainment, but in the end, my wife finally managed to park the car and we made our way to the air show.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 8:30 pm 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:13 pm
Posts: 8176
Location: Tredavoe, Cornwall
Buckingham palace have confirmed that unless they receive a FULL apology from the French magazine, they will be going ahead with the planned release of topless pictures of Camilla.





Now that can't offend people as I didn't say anything about shooting the old boiler.

al. :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 8:31 pm 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:13 pm
Posts: 8176
Location: Tredavoe, Cornwall
You know what makes me smile?








Facial muscles.


al.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 8:38 pm 
retrobike rider / Gold Trader
retrobike rider / Gold Trader
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Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:06 pm
Posts: 1388
Location: The Peth
feetabix wrote:
whats got four legs and sits in the corner going ssssshhhhhh?











rod hull's telly......


:lol: Shouldn't laugh but my favourite... :lol:

Was clearing out the attic with the wife the other day....filthy, dirty, covered in cobwebs......






....but she's good with the kids
(Tommy Cooper....a legend)

Did you hear about the magic tractor?




It turned into a field............

Thank you...good night


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 8:51 pm 
Retro Guru

Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:08 am
Posts: 847
Location: French Alps/Annecy
I'm going have give up my solid gold butt plug business because I'm being sued by apple.
Seems they have the monopoly on overpriced crap for assholes.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 8:54 pm 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2012 9:20 am
Posts: 823
Location: On my sofa
What did the constipated Maths teacher do?

Work it out with a pencil

Where do Mathematical ships sail?

Indices

What's the definition of a protractor?

A tractor that's lost its amateur status


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 9:56 pm 
Classified Mod / Lincs, East and South Yorks AEC
Classified Mod / Lincs, East and South Yorks AEC
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Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:45 pm
Posts: 6006
Location: East Yorkshire
Getting the new iPhone 5 was like wedding my 2nd wife - practically the same as the old one but bigger and f@@@ing useless with maps


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2012 9:44 am 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2011 2:47 pm
Posts: 1413
Location: North East
Whats the difference between a duck?


One of his legs is both the same.


EDIT: Removed jokes on dodgy ground :? (Mod)


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