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PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 11:26 pm 
retrobike rider / Gold Trader
retrobike rider / Gold Trader
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Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 3:31 pm
Posts: 3949
Location: a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam
what do you call a man with a pack of ham on his head?




Hamed.



What about the man with two packs of ham on his head?





Mo'hamed.





What about the man with two packs of ham on his head standing between a couple of houses?





Mo'hamed Alley


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 12:02 am 
Gold Trader
Gold Trader
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Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 9:04 pm
Posts: 3198
Location: Chorley, Lancs
What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh!

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

What do you call a man in a raincoat?

Mac.

What do you call a man in 2 raincoats?

Max.

What do you call a rich man in 2 raincoats?

Maximillian.

What do you call a man in 2 raincoats in a cemetery?

Max Bygraves.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 12:03 am 
retrobike rider / Gold Trader
retrobike rider / Gold Trader
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Location: a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam
A fly with no wings?



A walk.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 12:27 am 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 11:27 pm
Posts: 1421
Location: mid cheshire
apologies in advance for this one folks. it is in very, very bad taste.


whats the difference between sand and a baby?

you can't pick up sand with a pitchfork


and in an effort to redeem myself........

whats blue and doesn't fit?



a dead epileptic


whats this?

Image



its a dead one of these.......

Image


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 1:50 am 
Gold Trader / rb Rider / Special
Gold Trader / rb Rider / Special
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Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2009 12:26 am
Posts: 16165
Location: Rurally close.
jax! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

you cannot see how much im laughing right now!
im stealing that joke too!
:lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 9:59 am 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 2:04 pm
Posts: 3364
Location: Completely in the dark, thanks to me good mate Terry....
Q: What do you call a woman with her coat pockets full of fish?

A: Annette.

I'll get me coat. :oops:

David


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 10:01 am 
Old School Grand Master
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Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 2:04 pm
Posts: 3364
Location: Completely in the dark, thanks to me good mate Terry....
azaro wrote:
What do you call a man in 2 raincoats in a cemetery?

Max Bygraves.


What do you call a man in 2 raincoats pushing a Cortina off Beachy Head?

Max Clifford.

:oops:

David


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 10:15 am 
Retro Guru
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Joined: Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:37 pm
Posts: 1728
Location: UK Southwest
What's large, white, cold inside and you have to look up to see it?


A fridge in a tree!!! :oops:


Two cows standing in a field, a plane flies overhead and one cow looks up at the plane and then looks at the other cow and says............


...............moooo!!! :facepalm:

In my defence, it did say crap jokes only :roll:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 11:05 am 
retrobike rider / Gold Trader
retrobike rider / Gold Trader
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Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 3:31 pm
Posts: 3949
Location: a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam
two nun's in the bath, one says to the other, ''wheres the soap''

the other replies, ''it does doesnt it''


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 11:06 am 
Gold Trader
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Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2010 4:08 pm
Posts: 799
Location: Sarf Coast. Strong Island.
whats green has eight legs and could kill you if it fell on you?



A snooker table.






....sorry.





a siamese twin was asked where theyre going on holiday this year and replied....' France, so my brother can have a go at the driving'.


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