never thought i'd go back to ...

videojetman

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anti depressants.
I seriously thought I was ok.
but slowly I'm slipping back into depression and anxiety.
so I went to see my g.p. and she put me on 20mg citalopram.
why am I posting this ?
basically to highlight that its ok to get help with mental illness.
there is nothing to be ashamed of.
I know other members have suffered and do still suffer with mental problems.
so i'm hoping over the next few weeks my moods will lighten and I can be a better version of myself.
hope this helps at least one other person suffering in silence.
all the best
jeff.
 
Yeah. I'm not in a very good place at the moment. Major lifestyle changes, none of which I've had any say in. It's just been "this is how life is now, get on with it."
So I'm making full use of all the coping mechanisms I've learnt, and so far, I'm on the level, well I'm not getting any worse. I guess I'll hit rock bottom over Christmas with all the festivities and three family birthdays in quick succession.
Hopefully i can keep off the medication, not due to any specific/intellectually justifiable reason, just bad experiences last time round, it made a right mess of me, for several years.
(Massive dose over a long period of a drug they don't use anymore. Except under close supervision. A friend is on it now, she's also on suicide watch and isn't allowed anything sharper than a tennis ball. I was at home, on my own 24/7 for ~3 months. :/ ) So I guess the worry is justified.
But I know it's there if I need it.

Anyway, I'm just going to keep plugging away.
 
mattr":3oqne6sq said:
Yeah. I'm not in a very good place at the moment. Major lifestyle changes, none of which I've had any say in. It's just been "this is how life is now, get on with it."
So I'm making full use of all the coping mechanisms I've learnt, and so far, I'm on the level, well I'm not getting any worse. I guess I'll hit rock bottom over Christmas with all the festivities and three family birthdays in quick succession.
Hopefully i can keep off the medication, not due to any specific/intellectually justifiable reason, just bad experiences last time round, it made a right mess of me, for several years.
(Massive dose over a long period of a drug they don't use anymore. Except under close supervision. A friend is on it now, she's also on suicide watch and isn't allowed anything sharper than a tennis ball. I was at home, on my own 24/7 for ~3 months. :/ ) So I guess the worry is justified.
But I know it's there if I need it.

Anyway, I'm just going to keep plugging away.
all the best to you.
take care out there.
jeff.
 
My probs are well documented but I'm definitely in sociopath mode at the moment - I'm looking after me, so if me is okay, I can then be in a position to look after others.

Good luck!
 
Talking is good! I struggled admitting it for years, then had an... episode... at work. Not fun, and should never have happened.

Was on meds for 2 years, also citalopram (which had a few unpleasant side effects*) but got it got me back on my feet. No shame here, if you broke your leg, you'd get a cast. It's just what it is, nothing more. Aside from the side effects, I wouldn't hesitate to get back on meds if needed.

You have my genuine sympathies, it's shit place to be, and unless you've been through something similar, I suspect it's hard to really understand it.

Sending man hugs to you Buddy.

*Horrific night sweats weren't great, but the, er, 'inability to finish' was worse... My wife wants me back on meds. ASAP.
 
My_Teenage_Self":2qhimtez said:
*Horrific night sweats weren't great, but the, er, 'inability to finish' was worse... My wife wants me back on meds. ASAP.
Yeah, had those side effects.
Worst for me was the complete and utter loss of a sense of taste (some say i never had one anyway ;) ) so eating stronger and stronger tasting and flavoured foods in larger and larger quantities without any ability or willingness to train led to me hitting 90 kilos (up from 65 before it all kicked off).
 
I always felt I was 'clinging on' a little bit, then about 18 months ago I started a new job. The pressure of a stressful new job coming out of a job with a 4-6 hour commute at least three times a week (5 times most weeks) left me unable to keep hold of things for quite a while. The slightest thing could have me in a crying, hiding, mess at any time and I had no power to control it at all.

I had always been a believer that pills were 'giving up' and that it was all about circumstance and getting to the root of the problem. Now I think I have come to the conclusion that the root of the problem is that my body doesn't work properly. Whether it is as simple as a chemical imbalance or not I don't know, but taking the pills (citalopram too, just down from 30 to 20mg) has made a huge difference and I feel a little bit like this is how I should have felt all along. Even at the age of 36-37 I would have been physically ill if my (long suffering) girlfriend said she wanted to go out for a drink of an evening, I really couldn't handle it and couldn't control the response. Now I still get stressed, I still get happy, sad, angry all of those things but I am in control of them.

The side effects were not good - the night sweats were particularly bed and I had to sleep on top of the duvet under a thin sheet for 2-3 months - really quite cold.

I'm sure they're not for everyone, but if you need them open up to them because they can have a very positive effect in my experience.
 
Re:

your not alone dude

always a message away for a chat etc to all of you. some have been really good with me and it's appreciated
 
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