It saddens me to have to correct a gentleman of some standing but I feel I must if impressionable people aren't to be sucked into DorianWorld for the weekend
1. Don't allow alcohol to release your rage and fury before the race starts proper
Alcohol isn't the issue, it's the incoherent finger jabbing monologue that it inspires that is frightening. Repeat, mantra like, '"in with the anger, out with the love".
5. Motivational speakers have their place - but not at Mayhem
I'll be makin' like Tony **** Robbins at Eastnor, all welcome but only those with open minds/strong psyches.
7. Don't ride a lap with Gus - whatever he may say to tempt you to enter the void
You don't ride with Lil G, you 'share a moment'.....
8. If you are offered a turn at the heckler's DJ decks - try to avoid playing G-A-Y anthems - remember, you are not alone in your car now
On the wheels of steel I won't be the man with the red face - in Timberlake we trust!