The voting system has to change. For too long people have treated this competition as a lighthearted monthly show of fancy bikes, voting for the one they like and expecting the one that scores the highest proportion of vote to win and get to display that all important badge BoTM Winner. But no more I say, this flippant attitude has to stop, this is an important matter; lives are at stake, marriages at risk, livelihoods in the balance.
The Catholic Church is a bastion of piety and honour; the votes for their new boss are presided over by God himself so there can be no disputing that whoever wins their Cardinal of the month competition is truly the one who deserves to be Pope.
So why don’t we have a word with the local Father Kiddifiddler, or Bishop Boybotherer and see if they can’t get the Vatican involved? We could use their conclave club and have them vote on the bikes until they all agree who’s won and burn a copy of the Koran (I think that’s what they do) to get the white smoke to tell the waiting masses that the decisions is made.
Winning must come with a reward, financial in this life and spiritually in the next, anyone who gets a win in BOTM and ROTM must be put forward for beatification immediately so that they get the praise they deserve for such and astounding feat.