Death - a thorny subject

I just happened across a post regarding the death of an RB contributor - IGOTTASEROTTA. Sad news.

I noticed another member died recently and, although i did not have any contact with the other member, I thought it was sad - as all deaths are.

Perhaps there is some way that members who have passed away could be remembered - nothing big, just something, somewhere to remember them by.

I know forums are not the most important things in the world but I enjoy the friendship here and have made some 'on line friends' and I have made some friends 'off line' who i have met here.

None of us are getting any younger and, as some of you will know, there are members who have had serious illnesses and, perhaps, we are lucky that they are still able to post on the forum.

So I would like to ask for suggestions as to what and how any small memorial on the site would be workable. I suspect that the mods (ie John) would have to be careful about contributions etc. OR have a part of the site to view and not to post on. As it is apparent, I am not sure how this works.

On a final point, and it may not be appropriate in some circumstances, it would be MY preference that flowers or some form of contribution/donation be made to deceased members. Again, this may prove very awkward but might be doable. Personally, I would be willing to donate for whatever was decided.

Thanks for reading, and I am sorry if this is where you learned of the passing of a member,

Kind regards,

Richard

a valid point and certainly one to consider if sincere, times like this make us more aware of our mortality so I for one would be happy to contribute a small donation towards flowers if something could be set up (.....just hope I don't make it the obituary column too soon!)

Griff

I can't imagine that forums or pastime and hobby websites are suitable places for 'memorials'. Sure, have a thread that disappears but not stickies, sub-forums or sections dedicated to the dead. Even flowers from a forum are a bit much.

If individuals on a forum know someone really well then I'm sure they would want to do something - go to the funeral, contribute to a family trust fund, fill in a book of condolence etc but there is nothing less dignified than a thread filled with dozens of comments along the lines of 'I didn't know him but..', 'RIP ' and the like.

Death is part of everyone's life but mourning it is something for family and friends to do as they see fit, not for some cyber 'community' to burn on the internet for all eternity.

Fair point and well made. I would not envisage an ability to make comments - the current threads do that. Just a small gesture is what i mean.

Richard

I am not questioning your genuine intent and think its great that you raised this issue as it is something that is very topical.

My feelings are that gestures should be sincere, genuine and directed towards the family in the normal ways, not diluted and isolated such as on a forum like this.

Are the family or friends going to visit this site, and how comforted are they going to be to see people either stating the fact that they 'never knew the fella but he seemed nice' or expressing their feelings through bloody emoticons and acronyms as people have done on the recent threads (effectively treating some bodies death with the same respect as a twitter post)?

Family and friends will feel comforted by those who genuinely know individuals and have had their lives impacted by individuals expressing their feelings sincerely and directly.

Let's keep this site dedicated loosely to bikes and leave the pseudo memorial stuff to 15 year olds on Facebook or websites like gonetoosoon.com

Again, good points and very well put. The fact that it is topical is somewhat worrying and we are all getting older. Perhaps I have had a different experience than you on RB, I have met some great people on line but I have little knowledge of their family circumstances etc I would still term them friends. I have met people on RB who I have met in real life and am aware of their family circumstances - again they are friends.

Friends of family are unlikely to visit here, but I do think there should be a small corner somewhere to pay respects or, at least, to acknowledge 'fallen members'. (and that sounds very twee) Again, I will reiterate, I would not like to see loads of comments - just a small post which is only edited by mods.

The site is loosely dedicated to bikes but there is more to it than that, I have never seen the site you mention and i won't be searching for it - that is not what i would envisage at all.

Each to their own,

Richard

TGR":3d1e8ej2 said:

The site is loosely dedicated to bikes

Click to expand...

Retrobike is "loosley dedicated to bikes"?? what would it take to make it strongly dedicated? But that's semantics and off topic.

I would feel it apt to have a thread of fallen retrobikers showing no more than a couple of photos of the individual smiling and on a bike with no more than a caption saying "joe bloggs 1960-2014, aka bloggsy". The thread to be locked for general posting, the pictures having been posted by an administrator.

LFGSS have something like this, rider down in terms of accidents and banner made black for a death, others (mainly classic car related) just seem to have announcements in main section, given the older age profile of some of the classic car forums this is more common.

No strong views either way but I think something would be good as allows thoughts / condolences to be made without intruding.

Could be called something like " how much I told her I paid for it" and out/value their bikes for them.

Have been thinking about this one. Who is it for? Maybe an obituary sticky thread written by someone who knew the departed. With a single post per person, linked to perhaps their bike threads and or the announcement RIP type thread if anybody wanted to express their condolences.
That way it would cover all needs but not become cumbersome unless there's a lemming type mass hysteria on a ride.

All valid points made here.