Are you, or have you ever been a Retro div?

I'll admit to it now.

Back in 1988 I decided (in a rare moment of tastelessness and absence of grounded conservatism) to convert my (not very old at the time) 1987 Muddy Fox Courier (lovely pearl white colour) into a 1988 Kona Splatter paint job version.

An hour and about twelve pots of Humbrol Airfix model kit paint later, I realised it was a silly silly idea.

And to make things worse, I'd gone past the point where it looked a (little) bit like a Kona paint job at about 15 mins and had even gone past the point where it looked like a Jackson Pollock painting at about 35 mins without noticing, so was the commitment to my new found design skills.

I'll dig out a picture at some point, but oh dear. what a knob.

You got any embarrassing retro disasters?

*Grow your hair like Tinker only to get it caught in your front wheel?

*Attempt a Mike Kloser moustache at 14 and get laughed at by girls?

*Wear a Flouro skin suit at any point in your past (sorry Kev )



:?:

at approx 13 i remember seeing a weight weenie magazine and all the bikes had 24 spoke wheels (you can see whats coming here!!!)
so i took my dads side cutters to 12 spokes per wheel (in no pattern just random chopping) and then when on a light weight super ride
10 mins later with 2 battered wheels and a very large scab down my left arm and leg was the result
still i was fast for them 10 mins

rob

I turned my Greyhound City 5 into er... a Marin...

Primer grey frame with flouro painted forks and stem.

I sprayed my wheels black (chrome rims)

The only thing I couldnt do anything about was the caliper brakes...

what a knob!

I wanted a titanium bike but couldn't afford one so I chromed my rockhopper comp after having it bead blasted, to get it smooth the chrome was quite thick in places and as a result the bike weighed an absolute ton.

I think I did quite a nice job on the over painting: transparent blue front fade to the chrome. I hand painted the lettering, it was called the "Beltane Fire"

I tried to convert an old Raligh Burner into a Slingshot - http://www.johnhayesdesign.com/Bikes/Slingshot2.jpg - by cutting off the down tube and replacing it with a clutch cable! It did take out the bumps, but the spring wasn't up to it and the bike got lower and lower, and longer and longer, until the pedals wouldn't go round! Burners were 10 a penny back then so wasn't too bothered! Just a bit of a laugh! No pictures though, sorry!

In keeping with the retro theme for the insult, shouldn't the term used be "you Joey"?

Well kinda LOL, my biggest crime was kinda faking bits, well not really but putting stickers on associated bits orange stickier on my seat post!
generally in the olden days, just cluttering with stickers and crap accessories!

B3":dt2qxpy0 said:

In keeping with the retro theme for the insult, shouldn't the term used be "you Joey"?

Click to expand...

It could be, but I always thought that was a bit mean. and now you look back on it, it was really mean.

So, No.

I had a Raleigh Extra Burner, but really wanted the yellow one (Banana bike?) so I hand painted the frame yellow and bought some yellow Skyways, it looked a bit wanky tbh.

I also made my own layback seatpost from a piece of pipe in the garage. It bent when a *ahem* bigger fella went for a razz on my bike

Final really big faux-pas was to remove the rack eyes from my Cro-mega frame and paint over the bare steel with Humbrol enamel in order to save weight, oh, and to fit an alloy screw in my stem......I consequently broke my chin when the screw gave way on a downhill and the bars just pushed out the front of the stem

Wu-Tangled":2jd6rz85 said:

*Wear a Flouro skin suit at any point in your past (sorry Kev )

Click to expand...

:evil:

I once decided to paint (my perfectly nice) yellow Rockhopper gold with black forks and create my own decals :shock: It was a stinker but fortunately the bike was stolen not soon after....